Living with ADHD

We are coming to one of the most exciting times of year. The end of the school year is almost upon us and Christmas is only a few weeks away. This is a great time of year for celebration, for family traditions and for holidays. This is also a time where children living with ADHD can be free from the constraints of school and enjoy much more free time. It does mean that there is often less routine and this can make this time a year a little tricky. Some thoughts on having a great Christmas holiday season. Try to keep as much routine as possible. I know that it's often a time when as parents we want to relax and let routine slip, however this can be quite off putting for some children. Keeping betime and morning routines can help maintain a better equilibrium for all involved. Of course, feel free to relax the routine if possible. Plan your daily activities well. If your child is in Vacation Care, they will have great activities planned for your children. If your children are a

One of the biggest complaints I hear from parents is that the teachers of their children with ADHD do not understand their child. This is probably true. Whilst teachers are taught about ADHD and associated disorders, it is usually from an education point of view and developing appropriate learning outcomes for these children. There is often little training or understanding of why the behaviours manifest the way they do or how to minimise these behaviours. This is unfortunate, as our teachers by and large are doing an amazing job and have to be mindful of the other children in the class as well. Children who also have Autism Spectrum Disorders can find school almost impossible. There simply is not enough support for all the children who need it. Having said that, I believe it's important to focus on what we do have and the things we can do to improve the situation faced by these children. I would personally love to see all teachers taught more about ADHD and how to help these child

Over the last few blogs we've looked at everything from information on the internet to how to communicate with children, what it's like for other children and of course the difficult challenges around medication and school. Today's blog is just a quick one, but there is always conflicting views around ADHD and is it a "real" disorder. For those of us who have lived with ADHD we know it is a genuine disorder. Of course there are things like diet and  intolerances that can contribute or even look like ADHD; trauma and abuse and living with violence in the home can also cause behaviour that look like ADHD. These things should not be ignored, (and maintaining a healthy diet is really important) but ultimately ADHD is a neurological disorder with scientific evidence that no diet, however strict will "fix". For parents like me who get sick of hearing everyone else's well meaning but ill informed advice, you might find the following websites helpful. One

To medicate or not to medicate? This is one of the most asked about topics in my experience of helping parents who have children with ADHD. There is so much information out there about medications, there are different types of medication and there is still unfortunately a great deal of prejudice. Of course, medication is not the miracle answer to ADHD it is simply one of the tools in a vast toolbox of options that can be very helpful. When children with ADHD struggle to concentrate, when they are highly distractable, medication can be really helpful to help them concentrate. Remember that true ADHD is a neurological disorder. There are many things that can have similar symptoms to ADHD, such as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, living with domestic violence,  Sleep Apnoea and food intolerances. If symptons similar to  ADHD are present then it is really important to look at what is really going on. Is this really ADHD or are there other things going on? Are some of theses other things pr

I had a question recently from one of our group about helping children with big changes. Changes happen all the time for all of us and while they can be exciting, there can also be some moments of hesitation and anxiety. For children diagnosed with ADHD these changes can be very unsettling. All their anxieties can rise because of the unknown and this can lead to undesirable behaviour. If we can minimise the anxiety we can help our children negotiate change well. I've got some ideas here, but I'm keen to hear what others have to say. Each child is different. Some ways to help with change. As much as possible, keep the routine the same Explain to the child what is happening and why. Allow the child to ask whatever questions they want and listen to their feelings. No question is silly. Validate their feelings. They are not silly for having these feelings of sadness, anxiety or uncertainty. This is very normal and they need to know that these feelings are normal. Be prepared to

Last post I talked a little about how the study of Neuroscience is beginning to shed a great deal of light on the brain and its neuroplasticity. Our brain is constantly changing and renewing itself. We are what we think and what we think about does affect the structure and function of the brain. This is good news. It means that if we have thought ourselves into a negative place, then we can think ourselves out of it. I do not profess to be a professional, but its worth understanding. As thoughts enter into our conscious mind they become plastic and we can change them. If we find ourselves thinking something negative, then we can catch that thought, be deliberate in understanding where it comes from and begin to reframe our thinking by deliberately thinking constructive thoughts about situations. If we are deliberate in this and engage in deep thinking, learning to understand our thoughts, and to get hold of the negative ones, then reframe for positive ones, it changes the landscape of

There is a great deal of information on the web about ADHD. Some of it is really useful and based in strong scientific research. Other information is not useful and can be misleading. I suggest you take great care to check the validity of the sites you are looking at. Having said that, it is good to expand our understanding of the disorder. As our children grow and develop the issues associated with the disorder can change. There is a great deal of research into ADHD and one of the most exciting areas is research into the neuroscience of the disorder. Dr Thomas Brown has a great website that contains well researched information on the many and various aspects of the disorder. You can find his information at www.drthomasbrown.com Here is a little of what he says. "Although ADD/ADHD has been recognized for over 100 years, it has usually been seen as essentially a behavior problem. Yet many with ADD/ADHD suffer not from behavior problems so much as from chronic problems with

Children diagnosed with ADHD and similar disorders often require extra support and extra energy from parents. Often as parents we underestimate the emotional energy that is required to just stay on top of everything. Because our children look normal, others often don't understand the energy required on a daily basis just to keep things running smoothly in the home for the child and their siblings. I know from my own experience that at the end of the day I would be exhausted. I hated it when someone said "That's just normal boy behaviour" when I knew what I was dealing with was something more. They didn't have to live with difficult and challenging behaviour day in and day out. They only ever saw a snapshot of behaviour. I had other children and I understood the time and energy that it takes to be a Mum to any child. But I also know just how challenging it can be to stay on top of everything when your child's behaviour is not normal. It is only when others ha

Thinking about how we communicate.  Communication is shared meaning, so if there is no shared meaning there is no communication. An interesting question arises though. If shared meaning is the goal of communication, how come we get it wrong so often? Even when we are trying so hard to  get it right we sometimes miss the mark. Does this mean that we just don't really take the time to think about what we are doing when we communicate with people, especially with our children? We probably all need to get better at working out how we are going to really listen to people, really take note of what they are saying and really try to understand them.  But there is also the need to make sure others understand us, that our children really do know what is required of them. One of the things with children diagnosed with ADHD is that it takes longer for them to understand our meaning. All too often we are too quick to get frustrated with them instead of taking the time to real