Dealing with Big changes.

I had a question recently from one of our group about helping children with big changes. Changes happen all the time for all of us and while they can be exciting, there can also be some moments of hesitation and anxiety. For children diagnosed with ADHD these changes can be very unsettling. All their anxieties can rise because of the unknown and this can lead to undesirable behaviour. If we can minimise the anxiety we can help our children negotiate change well. I've got some ideas here, but I'm keen to hear what others have to say. Each child is different.

Some ways to help with change.
As much as possible, keep the routine the same

Explain to the child what is happening and why. Allow the child to ask whatever questions they want and listen to their feelings. No question is silly. Validate their feelings. They are not silly for having these feelings of sadness, anxiety or uncertainty. This is very normal and they need to know that these feelings are normal.

Be prepared to really listen to what the child is saying. If negative behaviours are involved, there is a high likelyhood that it stems from uncertainty and anxiety. Where possible, talk to the child about what is happening and try to see it from their point of view. Something that seems normal to us may be very off putting for them.

Be positive (where possible) about changes and help children look for the fun things and the opportunities. The more positive the parents are about the change, the better. Change is about learning and growing and we need to learn to embrace it too.

Sometimes changes involve moving, and this can mean moving away from those things that are secure, such as extended family. This is why routine is important. Keeping as many things as possible normal, such as routine, bedtime etc will help. Children may be worried about losing friends too, so talk to them about how they can stay in contact with old friends as well as making new ones.

What are the fun and new things that will come as a result of this change? Keep the child focussed on these things.

Involve the children with the process so that they feel included in what is happening.

These are just a few ideas. Remember that most people do not like change, so being ready and prepared is the key. And remember to listen and to try to understand how your child is feeling. They will be more confident with change if they know they can always talk to you about it.