ADHD and School

One of the areas most fraught with difficulty for children with ADHD is school. Schools require children to sit still for extended periods of time, to be quite and to wait their turn. Unfortunately these are not strengths for children affected by ADHD and similar disorders and they are often perceived as disruptive and difficult due to their impulsive behaviour. 

Some children do well at school when they have a teacher who understands the condition and is able to be sympathetic to the way the child is responding or reacting to a situation. When the teacher is educated about ADHD and has a desire to see the child thrive, then all is well. Unfortunately, many teachers with the best intentions, do not understand ADHD and the way these children respond. This leads to major difficulties for both the teacher and the child.

Some schools have great policies relating to ADHD however many do not and the ignorance surrounding the disorder and negative media attention means that teachers are often responding to the child the wrong way. They have pre-conceived ideas about how to teach these children with little respect for how the child might be feeling. I have heard of cases where a child has been brought up before the whole class and ridiculed for having ADHD behaviour. The child left hurt, angry and totally demoralised by the way the teacher had approached the issue. This is totally insensitive and hopefully rare.

The best way to approach school is to maintain a close working relationship with the teacher and if possible help the teacher understand how your child responds to life. Now, bear in mind that the teacher usually has a class of 25 students and individual attention all the time is unrealistic and not likely to happen. But if the work can be tailored to the child, then there will be a better outcome. Most teachers I dealt with were willing to help and to see my child do well. Let's face it, if the child does well, its good for the teacher too.

I did come across some teachers who struggle with the idea. One teacher in high school told me my child was not disrupting the class (he had his hyperactivity under control by then but his distractibility was still a major issue for him) and therefore she saw no reason why he could not do better. When I informed her that he had ADHD and lost concentration quickly, that the reason he was quiet was because he had no idea of what was going on or where the class was up to, she had trouble believing me. If she had taken more interest in my child, she would have discovered that if given the right help, and given some one on one, that she actually had a competent student in her class. Unfortunately she did not care that much and was more interested in him doing more study and trying harder. A frustrating experience for everyone that could have been easily solved. 

My son, who is now an adult and able to reflect on life at school, when asked what he would like to say to teachers, said he wanted teachers to know that he was trying really hard. He said his teachers always said "you just need to try harder" but his response was "Mum, I was trying as hard as I could". We often forget that children with ADHD spend a lot of their time trying to listen, trying to do what is right, trying to fit in, It is difficult and demoralising when you are putting all your energy into trying hard, only to be told to "try harder". It's little wonder that these children often give up trying at all and become the class clown, or disrupt the class in some way.

There are other issues with school. The change from primary school to high school can be challenging for any child, but imagine having to be more organised, to be able to remember what subjects you have each day and to pack your bag accordingly. For many children high school is a new and exciting time, but it can also be an anxious time. Parents and teachers can help alleviate anxiety by putting in a little extra effort to help the child learn where everything is in their new environment and to be "inducted" carefully into their new school. 

There are also many positives. New school and new teachers means that any baggage from primary school can be left behind and the child has a clean slate to start with. There is also the advantage that different subjects have different teachers, so that if your child does not like one teacher, then he/she does not have them all day. The changes from class to class and teacher to teacher, break the day up and change the environment which is helpful to many children with ADHD.

Of course, homework is still an issue. In primary school, the level of homework is usually much less, whereas in high school, there is more homework for more subjects. Managed carefully, this can work well as the homework can be different each night. My suggestion for homework, whether the child is in primary or high school, is to ensure that the load is never too much for any one night. I am not a fan of excess homework for children, but I understand that it is necessary and can help reinforce what is being learned. I liked the system our school had for maths. They allowed 20 mins and as long as the child had given it a good go it didn't matter if it wasn't finished. 

At high school, as the years progress there is more scope for the child to choose the subjects that they learn. This is helpful because a child with ADHD is able to learn much more and much better when they are interested in a subject. This is because they can concentrate better on the subjects they like. I believe that one of the keys to school is helping the student to find what they are good at and to help them choose their subjects that way.

Remember that while getting the Higher School Certificate (HSC) is an honourable thing, it is not the be all and end all of academic life. My own son is an example. He asked to leave school part way through year 11. We went through a process before making a final decision, but the relief on his face when I told him he did not have to do the HSC was very clear and took a weight off his shoulders. Our children need to learn to push through things and rise to the challenge, so we asked him to complete year 11 since he had started it, but it was a decision made together. 

The following year my son went to TAFE to pursue music and did really well, eventually leaving with an Advanced Diploma in Music Performance, with good grades and certificates for outstanding achievement. He was able to pursue what he was good at, and to feel good about himself. He went from being told he needed to try harder to being told that he was really good at music, that he was capable and that he was able. His personal self esteem rose dramatically and it turned out that leaving school was the best decision we could have made for him.

Its really important to remember that each child is different and that each child has their own dreams to pursue. Leaving school is not the right answer for everyone but if we understand that our children are not always cut out for our school system, and we understand that there are other ways of getting a good education then we can be free to help our children pursue what is right for them. This does not mean we abdicate the responsibility we have as parents to train our children to become independent law abiding adults able to take responsibility for their life and behaviour, but it does mean that we can be flexible and understanding. 

So where to from here:

1. Talk to the teachers and help them understand ADHD and your child

2. Always show respect to the teacher and for the teacher regardless of how they teach and what you personally think ( our children need to learn to respect authority in its right place)

3. Help the child to learn to break assignments down into manageable parts so that homework is not a burden

4. Be flexible and realistic in what you and your child can achieve

5. Think outside the square, there are other ways of getting a good education.