Isolation

Isolation

This word conjures up a range of thoughts and images on our minds. For some, it may bring up images of a relaxing beach far away where you don't have to deal with the usual business of life. But this is not isolation.

For many, isolation is not about being far away and alone in an idyllic setting. I've spoken to people who talk of feeling isolated even when surrounded by a crowd. This can be especially so for parents of children living with ADHD, ASD or other disorders.

These kids require extra support. They struggle to read the social cues and signals that others take for granted. They behave in ways that others don't understand. For parents, the fallout of this can be totally exhausting.

On top of this there are the usual 'helpful' people who believe they have the answer for your child. These people believe that if you just did ..... (fill in the blank yourself), then all your child's issues would miraculously disappear.

As a parent, this constant barrage can be demoralising, adding to the weight already being carried. I know how hard this can be as a parent of a child with ADHD. You are already doing everything you know to do including seeing doctors, learning about behaviour management, advocating for you kids in school (another issue), seeing counsellors, trying to manage homework etc. Not to mention the other children in the family who need time and attention.

Of course there are many great days too. These are the days you try to remember when the crap hits the fan. But the truth is that because of all of this, isolation is very real. Add on top of this the trend in society for busyness replacing real community, and the isolation increases.

There is not a great deal of support for families. We try to offer what we can but it's no wonder that many parents are left exhausted and anxious, with nowhere to turn, feeling isolated and forgotten.

All of this sounds very negative, but its the fact of life for many families living with these disorders. But it doesn't have to stay that way.

Children with ADHD and ASD etc, may view the world very differently, but they have much to offer too, mainly because they see the world differently. They can often find solutions to things that have stumped other people. They can be creative, sensitive, loving and kind. There are many examples in our world where they have done so.

I look forward to a day when children like ours are recognised for the fabulous human beings they are and are encouraged to build on their strengths instead of being told to 'try harder'. I look forward to a day when parents are supported and encouraged and acknowledged for the effort they put in  regardless of their child's behaviour.

I look forward to a day when all teachers and schools are properly equipped to listen to parents, to work with our children in ways that are constructive, and to do so before parents have to spend hours advocating for their children before anything happens.

Our ADHD Illawarra support group run by Citylife Community Initiatives is trying to address this issue. There are many wonderful families living with ADHD that feel isolated and we would love to change that. We would love to be able to help more families come together, overcome isolation and become families where it's OK living with ADHD.

ADHD Illawarra
Citylife Community Initiatives
129 Jardine St
Fairy Meadow

www.communityinitiatives.org.au
www.adhdillawarra.org (under construction but up soon.)