Living with ADHD

https://www.smh.com.au/politics/federal/tough-love-for-the-ndis-under-butler-s-new-rules-20250820-p5moi6.html This is an informative read which will allay the fears of many on the NDIS. I know a number of families with children and adults with diagnoses of Autism and the NDIS has been a life saver for them. I'm sure they will still have some concerns around the ongoing use of the system and if they will have some services cut back. I feel for them as living with autism is not easy regardless of the diagnosis level.  I will be very interested to see what Thriving Kids will offer to families after 2027 and what level of support they can expect. Also what level of support will adults diagnosed with autism receive. As we understand more about autism we are seeing more adults diagnosed and I am concerned as to what level of support they will be eligible for.  For many years I have worked with families with both ADHD and Autism diagnoses and as we understand these neurodiversities m...

Do you start your new year with resolutions? How has that worked for you? Do you find yourself realising very quickly that the resolutions fall apart very quickly? In our world we are told the importance of planning and smart goals to achieve the outcomes we want. We hear things like,  "if you don't plan, then you plan to fail". I don't find these simple sayings that helpful. I know that it's possible to plan carefully, and then life throws a completely unforeseen curve ball at you, and suddenly everything falls apart.  So what is the answer? The truth is that the answer depends on your personality, the type of work you do, and your own family dynamics. My best suggestion is to not try to plan too far ahead, and to find what works in your individual situation.  For example, I know people who just love their personal planners, entering in things in great detail, weekly,  monthly, quarterly. You get the drift. It works for them and their context.  I tried the plan...

Mmm. ADHD. I wrote this post on the wrong blog, no surprise there,  just ADHD in action, where time blurs, (it's suddenly much later than I thought it was) and where checking the details doesn't always happen.  So here's the link.  http://thethoughtfulrambler.blogspot.com/2023/06/adhd.html Our Meetup for adults with ADHD can be found here: Check out ADHD ILLAWARRA - Adults with ADHD https://meetu.ps/c/4Vk5c/Dx0sV/d on Meetup

http://thethoughtfulrambler.blogspot.com/2022/11/adults-with-adhd.html

I've been meaning to post here regularly, I really have. But in the midst of the pandemic, the overwhelm and trying to keep up with everything else it simply didn't happen. So I'm not making any promises to post every day or every week. I will simply post when I can. I love our ADHD community of friends and family and it is increasingly obvious that I'm living with my own particular version of ADHD. The more I hear about women and ADHD the more I realise that it sounds like me. I'm not sure if this is a relief or not. I think it's actually something I've always known. Now I have the choice on getting a property diagnosis, or simply living with what I know works.  Over the years I have developed my own kind of coping by working with my superpower of hyper-concentration. When I'm interested in something I can focus for long periods of time. This is how I've completed much of the study I have done. And yes, there is also the use of that super power that...

Well it's October already. Back in March I was planning on doing a monthly post. I think my ADHD might have got in the way as the days and weeks went by and I completely forgot about it whilst doing other important things.  It's not that I intend to forget these regular things. It's just that when something is exciting it takes my attention away from what I was doing and what I planned to do. It happens with the little things and sometimes the big things.  I was in more of a routine when my kids were little, yet even then,  things happened that made me realise how distracted I can get. I was so excited about the prospect of meeting someone off the train that I didn't watch the time and totally forgot that my daughter, all 6 years of age would be waiting at the bus stop for me.  She looked so forlorn when I found her there later. Of course when I realised I hadn't collected her i ran as fast as I could to get her. She was very forgiving and we laugh about it now. Eve...

It's been a while since I've written anything ADHD wise. I am back again and hope to bring you a monthly blog.  This is just a short note. In these new and uncertain days it can be tough for our kids where there is no certainty from day to day.  Rest assured that new routines will develop with time. It can also add pressure to you as carers for your families trying to juggle work, homeschooling and staying sane in isolation. There are many organisations who are bringing great ideas out to help us at this time. I will pop up a list here soon to give you access to tools that might be useful.   In the meantime, take care.  Jill

Isolation This word conjures up a range of thoughts and images on our minds. For some, it may bring up images of a relaxing beach far away where you don't have to deal with the usual business of life. But this is not isolation. For many, isolation is not about being far away and alone in an idyllic setting. I've spoken to people who talk of feeling isolated even when surrounded by a crowd. This can be especially so for parents of children living with ADHD, ASD or other disorders. These kids require extra support. They struggle to read the social cues and signals that others take for granted. They behave in ways that others don't understand. For parents, the fallout of this can be totally exhausting. On top of this there are the usual 'helpful' people who believe they have the answer for your child. These people believe that if you just did ..... (fill in the blank yourself), then all your child's issues would miraculously disappear. As a parent, this consta...

Hi, Here is a link to a great article on helping kids reframe their day and their thinking. It's not specifically ADHD related and I found it on The Gottman Institute Facebook page. I'm sharing it here because I like how it guides us through an easy, useful and practical way to engage kids in that after school conversation. http://www.pbs.org/parents/expert-tips-advice/2018/02/3-words-reframe-day/

Are you an adult living with ADHD, or married to one? This is a quick and interesting read. While it doesn't give answers it may well spark some thoughts and ideas. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/may-i-have-your-attention/201708/is-adhd-blind-relationship-desirable Jill

There's been a bit in the news and on social media about fidget toys and whether or not they are a good thing.  Personally I believe these toys have their place and can be a useful tool for children to help them concentrate at school, listen to the teacher and do their work. Like most crazes I'm sure there are times that using these toys is inappropriate and I imagine that teachers may well be dealing with large numbers of these toys in their classrooms and this could easily be very distracting. However for children who find it difficult to concentrate, these fidget toys are not a distraction but an essential tool to enable them to manage their work. I remember as a child at school having pens with a click mechanism that I constantly clicked, often without realising that I was doing so, and only having it brought to my attention by someone else who clearly found it annoying. However it was a completely unconscious action on my part. If I'd had a fidget toy that I could cl...

ADHD seems to attract an undue amout of criticism and controversy. Recently CHADD - children and adults with adhd posted an article from science based medicine. Here is what CHADD says: '"There are many legitimate criticisms of #ADHD and psychiatry, but that does not mean ADHD is a fraud. The scientific evidence, both clinical and neuroscience, is robust. Kagan’s criticisms are mostly greatly exaggerated, or they are straw men because they are already incorporated into the standard of care. Unfortunately, you will not be exposed to any of that from reading any of the popular press breathlessly reporting that ADHD is a fraud." So - read this.' I have read the article and it is a well written if slightly long paper on the reality of  ADHD, the difficulty in diagnosing the disorder and recent research which is shedding light on the disorder that continues to affect around 6% of any given population. Enjoy the read and what science is discovering about ADHD. https:...

To the mum on the train yesterday, I want you to know you're an amazing mum and you're doing a great job of raising your boy. You may not feel like you are and I suspect that some days you feel like it's a losing battle. I know, because I've been there. I saw the tiredness after what was probably a long and tiring day. I saw how your boy had more energy than one would expect after such a long day. But I want you to know that its ok and he was ok. I wanted to tell you how amazing you are but I didn't get a chance to before you got off the train. I tried to smile encouragingly to let you know it was ok, that he was ok. I'm not sure if that's the message you got and I suspect there are times when others frown upon you and your boy. Ignore them. They are not living your journey or walking in your shoes. You and only you can know what it's really like. Hold your head high, do what you have to do as a mum, and know that you really are doing a great job an...

This is a great read. How would you like your school to better support your child's learning http://www.thecourier.com.au/story/4015768/adhd-needs-a-positive-attitude/

Hi. It's been a little while since I've written anything here but I wanted to share some thoughts. Every where I go it seems that people have an opinion on ADHD. Most of these people have never lived with it, or even understand what it really is. However people have strong opinions and often strong ill informed opinions. I spend much of my time in discussion with these people explaining the true nature of ADHD. Sure, there are other things that look like ADHD. (Food intolerance, sleep apnoea, Autism, and many other things can look like ADHD. But the parents of children living with ADHD that I meet are sick and tired of having to deal with the ignorance of others who "have the answer for them". They are fed up with having to justify the choices they make for their kids as if they've made them without reference to anyone else or anything. None of them have wanted to medicate their children. None of them are looking for a quick fix. What they are looking for is su...

Here is a link to a very interesting blog on child behavior by social worker Gary Direnfeld. It's quite long but definitely worth reading. Our world has changed and this piece of writing outlines the changes and gives strategies that we as parents can use to address difficult behaviours. https://garydirenfeld.wordpress.com/2016/05/01/child-behavior-when-nothing-else-works-consider-these-7-strategies/

This is the link to a blog on Autism/Aspergers but is well worth reading. http://autisticnotweird.com/asperger-syndrome-50-facts-about-having-mild-autism/

I'm sharing the following story from one of the mums from our ADHD support group because I think it highlights very well the struggles families go through as they work to build a positive approach to the challenges they face each day. Parents know when their children's behaviour is not like the other kids. I personally know this mum and her journey with ADHD is a familiar one for many families. She is a wonderful mum and advocate for her child. I share this story, written by her, with her permission, in the hope that it will help others to know they are not alone in this journey and also that others will find the help they are looking for.   As we started the journey with our daughter we had no idea what we were in for.   We just knew there was something just a little bit different about her to all the other kids around her. We first noticed this when she was about 3 years old. We saw the doctor who sent us to see an OT who said that our daughter was just to...

How do we let go of our children as they grow older? Well, that depends on how tightly we hold them in control. Love for our children should not mean we control their every move and every detail of their lives. Love means we teach and prepare our children to be responsible people. This is true whether ADHD is present or not. Sure, ADHD means some of this takes more time and more persistence by parents and there are times when we need to protect them but we cannot continue to rule their lives into adulthood. He's some thoughts that I've found helpful raising a child with ADHD: Accentuate the positive. Find out what they are good at. Give them lots of positive encouragement and the opportunity to pursue what they can do. Provide good and consistent boundaries and follow through. Encourage children to take responsibility for their actions by following through with consequences and allow children to experience natural consequences ( within reason and general safety) Have po...